At a recent networking event we were paired off via drawing lots to do 1:1 networking slots. The lady I was awarded turned out to not be suitable for me, nor I for her.
Now you can’t always expect to meet the most fantastic prospective customer every time you network, and in some cases exchanging pleasantries is enough before you can move on. But as I was ‘stuck’ with her in this case, I decided to make the best of the situation and see what I could learn from the experience (I never waste an opportunity).
From the beginning it was obvious she wasn’t interested at all in what I had to offer, and all she wanted to do was to plug her own enterprise. It wasn’t even her own business, or even a franchise, but something she represented. I listened patiently to the spiel, and gently asked some probing questions to see how she answered them.
The response was totally one-track, it was almost that she had flipped a switch and now a tape was running that could not be stopped. She wasn’t listening to anything I said, everything was directed towards me filling in a form so this company could send me a quote.
Well, we still had some time to go before this endurance test finished, so I asked her about her past history, and what her husband did. A tiny flicker of possible interest here was cruelly stamped on when she said her husband had been made redundant and now had signed up to a franchise to sell another impossible product, and whisked out of her bag all his leaflets and paraphernalia, complete with spiel, and the whole process started off again!
Attempts at pleasantries: children, family life, hobbies, etc were brushed aside. She had a goal to get a sign up and she was sticking to it, either for herself or her husband. Even when I tried, in vain, to explain a tiny bit about what I did, the result was a blank, vacant look before she gathered herself together for the next onslaught.
Great relief when the ‘all clear’ was announced and I could return to some sort of normality, and I moved on with a wry smile and a subject for my next blog post.
Aw Alice…that was not a pleasant experience for you but she was probably a novice and a very nervous one at that. I recall when I was a new-ie at networking, I transmitted on the Whats-In-it-4-Me wavelength all the time and couldn’t understand why business didn’t come flooding in when I was spending so much time at these events and my shoe bill was rising at an alarming rate! Only when I realised the Give-B4-Getting motto of real value networking, did things turn around.
Networking is about building relationships not selling – this takes time and effort and you are right, sometimes, it is a process of ‘going through the motion’ but I am of the ilk that believes NO meeting is a waste of time……
You never know, you might, through your million contacts on LinkedIn, be able to get her husband and interview, or even a job!!
Keep smiling Alice – the World is a fun place!!!
p.s the cakes were lovely though, weren’t they…???
Careful Diksha, by giving away the event the person might guess who she is, and that would be mortifying for me!
Yes, she was new and nervous, that’s why I was gentle with her. We all have to learn the hard way, and like a butterfly that struggles to emerge from the chrysalis, the effort will be worth all the while. We need to learn from our mistakes, and we also need a kind mentor to point them out so we can adjust the next time we perform. That’s what made me realise the best way to network, to relax and not worry about getting an immediate lead – and when I do I’m usually quite surprised!
This is a topic really close to my heart, Alice! Every year when we run speed networking sessions at our International Women’s Day events we get a few people holding everyone up because they haven’t finished bombarding the other person with information or sales pitches.
Over the years I’ve met many people who don’t seem to know how to network and they are not all novices. It is the main reason why a group of us have published a networking manual and run networking workhops over the years.
But when it comes to ‘learning’ about networking it seems that some people just ‘get it’ and are willing to do what it takes to do it well. Sadly others don’t….for whatever reason- such a shame and always so frustrating for those at the receiving end!
Real networking is an art, like public speaking and presenting. It needs to be slick and professional, but not obvious. A clever networker will worm what you do out of you without you realising it, assessing at the same time whether you are a good contact or not. They will not ask for business, nor even pitch themselves. The aim is to make a connection which may or may not be continued at another meeting – hence the reason to network widely and frequently. If you are pleasant and forthcoming there is a much larger chance of meeting up again – and who knows what might happen…