Posts Tagged ‘Ute Wieczorek-King’

This morning, I approached the main road near my house during the busy rush hour. I was in a hurry, and wanting to do my usual right-hand turn, my heart sank as I got closer. The traffic in both directions was almost at a standstill. With everyone in a rush, I knew that waiting for two nice drivers to create a gap in the traffic might be a waste of time.

Then, just before feeling disheartened, I decided to approach the junction with the thought that someone would make a space for me. And this is exactly what happened, the instant my car stopped at the crossing.

Image Quote Positive

“Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right. (Henry Ford)

It is so easy to forget that you actually have a choice about what you think in any given situation!

But being positive isn’t always easy!

To be fair, even I sometimes find it challenging to stay positive during particularly stressful periods or when suffering from the hormonal ups and downs midlife women can be prone to. And often, before you know it, your negative thoughts have become regular visitors.

In my experience, it requires quite a bit of effort to stay positive when you’re under pressure, but persistence and regular practice do pay off in the long run.

So what can you do?

The first step is in realising and monitoring your natural thought processes. Sometimes our thoughts appear in what we say in passing to a colleague. For example, have you ever caught yourself thinking or saying things like:

“They will be too busy and won’t want me to call today”
“They won’t pay me”
“I’ll mess up this presentation”
“I won’t get any business from this meeting anyway”?

Thinking in this way will inevitably affect your confidence and can prevent you from taking the positive action your business needs right now.

So before attending an event or starting a challenging task today, don’t just jump in. Instead, take yourself through a little prep task first.

If going to a networking meeting or event, either stay in the car or find a quiet space for a couple of minutes so you can become aware of your thoughts. For example, if you notice that you’re thinking that nobody ever wants to talk to you, or is interested in your business, decide which thought or approach would suit you better:

“I will ask the organiser to introduce me”
“I will approach just one person”
“I’ll ask them questions and show that I’m interested in them”

Making a choice can be quite difficult at first, as your negative thoughts will keep bobbing to the surface like apples that have fallen into a bucket of water.

So at first you might find it helpful to say your new thought out loud. But if you’re with people and speaking to yourself feels odd, take your phone and type the new thought as if you were sending someone a text message. Or you can write it in a small notebook. This way, no one will know!

The simple act of hearing your own voice or seeing your thought written down may help to plant the idea and get you used to thinking differently.

As the author Jodi Picoult said in her book My Sister’s Keeper, “If you tell yourself you feel fine, you will.”

PS. Why not share a tip below that works for you?

About the author: Ute Wieczorek-King provides business & blogging support for passionate midlife women who want to be more visible, focused and profitable. Get Ute’s business tips on Facebook or visit the Success Network website to receive Ute’s free “Passion to Profit ebook. You too can take your micro-business from good to great!


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Helga WieczorekMy mum grew up in a successful family business and was enterprising, ambitious and knowledgeable about business. That’s up until the day she married and moved away, expected to be just a housewife and mother which was customary for women in Germany when I grew up.

As my maternal grandparents had owned a large village shop and dairy supplying several villages with everything farmers needed in their homes, my mother had learnt to wear a business hat from a very young age. And when she left school as a teenager, she was sent away to be a live-in domestic apprentice in another large family business, adding further to her skills.

So it is understandable that a life of domesticity may not have fulfilled my mother’s ambitions. She felt lonely, surrounded by competitive neighbours and girlfriends who judged each other by how ‘spick and span’ their houses were. Social convention in our small town discouraged married women with children from working outside the family and if they did, many people thought it sent out the message that the husband wasn’t able to provide for the family.

And so as a way of coping with this limitation, my mother took responsibility for the family finances when we were young. She scrimped and saved, putting us children in handed-down clothes, and renting out the spare rooms in our big house which my dad had helped to build in his spare time.

Needless to say, she managed the household budget with great precision and by the time I was a teenager, we were reasonably well off and my siblings and I were well educated too. She encouraged us to be free spirited and happily engaged in what I realise now were quite challenging discussions when I was a teenager! However, although my mum was really proud of us, she was also extremely unhappy and I sensed that deep down, she always suffered from an underlying frustration of her own stifled potential. She knew that she was able to do all the above too easily without stretching herself or ever feeling challenged!

As I grew up my mother was a great role model: I learnt both how I wanted and didn’t want my life to be.

When she became ill and died aged 52, she left much more than a huge gap in my life. She left me with the awareness that every person has potential and that we just cannot let that potential go to waste. Sometimes we just need to push ourselves beyond the boundaries and what we see as our limitations — whether they are within us or happen to be external.

It still saddens me that she never lived to see what I learnt from her. Not only am I very proud of my own achievements (three lovely, now grown-up children, a supportive husband and doing what I love) I’d be incredibly disappointed if I wasn’t fulfilling my potential and my ambitions every day in my own business… and pushing the boundaries too from time to time!

So, what lessons have you learnt from your mother? And what learning are you leaving for your own children?

Ute2010Ute Wieczorek-King is an experienced mentor and business coach who specialises in helping busy women to be more more focused, effective and profitable in business. Ute runs Success Network and is co-author of “From Contact to Advocate(TM)” – a 7-step approach to developing referral relationships in business. Network with authenticity and a simple and consistent structure to generate more business!

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